I’ve been going through a funk lately and I want to apologize to everyone publicly. I would say that ever since I got back from LA I’ve been a bit of a downer and I want to change that. I think the first thing is acknowledging that I was that way rather than pretending that everything was and is okay. Just the fact of recognizing it and mentioning and helped tremendously.

I feel like I’ve been a horrible friend, brother and son. I haven’t been there socially and have been sort of checked out. I also of course haven’t been on a date since getting back from LA which would go hand-in-hand with my attitude. I hope to change ALL of this. I hope to really change my life and make it exactly how I want it.

One of the things that I’ve been trying to change is the way I eat. I think that has quite an effect on my mood and attitude and I think if I have less attention on what I’m eating and just enjoy it it’ll be better. I think I was little malnourished before, the body does need some sugars and fats. I can already feel the change. It’s nice to have so many options to eat. I’ll still eat healthy but I’m not going to be crazy about it (I may still be weird but that’s cause I’ve been doing it so long and actually do enjoy a lot of the weird things that I eat).

I really want to get back in touch with all of my friends. I want to enjoy company and conversations again. I want to enjoy life. I want to play games. I’m going to try and be involved in more activities. One of the things I normally do is immediately say no to things, I’m going to change that. I guess it’s sort of like Jim Carrey’s new movie “The ‘Yes’ Man”. I’m going to try and say “yes” to more things. I’m going to try and stay up later and sleep in later, that way I CAN be involved in more activities.

I also want to help others much more than I have been. I isolate myself so much. I guess the reason I don’t help others as much is because I don’t ever really ask others for help. I need to get out. I need to stop being alone and start having fun with others. I’m going to talk to others more, I’m going to do more things.

I’m thinking of a career change…you’ll hear about as it becomes more solid (you know I always have something up my sleeve). I also want to start taking Karate, Trumpet lessons and Spanish lessons. I would really like to accel at those things.

Here’s to the new Bear. Feel free to remind me of this and push me to be a better me. I really want to get out of my comfort zone. I think that’s the thing, I think I stay within a sphere where I don’t have to do anything I don’t really want to. With that philosophy I’ll never experience new things. I’ll never do anything other than what I’ve already tried and known.

I’m going to change and I’m going to change for the better. Life is going to be amazing. Life is going to be incredible and life is going to be exactly what I’ve always wanted.